Almost a year ago, my family and I moved. We moved out of the world of rentals and bought a house in a nice neighborhood. The neighbors all know each other (I didn’t think that happened these days), the street is quiet, and we are close (walking distance) to key things (e.g. our pediatrician, grocery, park, coffee).

We have been configuring the house for our kids in a way that we couldn’t with a rental. All the doorknobs are kid resistant. We installed permanent baby gates in key places around the house (e.g. my office). Wireless kid music inside keeps the residents happy and calm and fences on the outside keep them kids in the yard without running and chasing. The yard is fast becoming my friend. Its a great place to let the kids burn off energy, and this yard doesn’t have any of the broken fences, dropoffs, rough concrete, etc. of our last place. It has a lot of grass and dirt. I spent a lot of time on the yard removing the ivy and other stuff that makes it smaller so, of course our 4 little ones can have a lot of room.

Although, I suppose that 4 boys would make any yard/ house/ place seem small. There’s a lot of noise that seeps into my phone calls and into the other’s sleep. There are a lot of toys and clothes and dishes that end up all over the place and often get lost in plain sight.

But, the bottom like is that this place feels like home.

The iPad is a truly magical device. It has the ability to mesmerize little kids in a way I never thought was imaginable.

When I was a new parent, I never really though about what to do when the boys got board of upset. As I started to experience it, I learned that having no answer was not a good answer. When they were board, they got into the stuff that I didn’t want them to get into. When they were upset, they threw the things I didn’t want them to get into. And, while doors were locked, stuff was placed on top shelves and gates were put in place, they always knew where the thing I missed was. And while the public embarrassment from a public toddler meltdown eventually dissipates, the damage does not. I quickly learned that most everything at a restaurant (e.g. tablecloth, glasses, salt and pepper, plates, silverware, food) can be dangerous. My routine was to push everything towards the center of the table and move the tablecloth to prevent the “magic trick”. But, the iPuk was an even easier solution.

My kids call most everything made by Apple an iPuk. An iPad, and iPhone and even a laptop are all iPuks. And they are truly desirable because they are movies and games and more in a small kid sized device. And, they are touch sensitive. For kids that want to touch everything, that really is magic.

Because of the simple interface, they can use it very well. My oldest (still only a bit over 3) likes to watch cars racing on YouTube. The other day he picked up an iPad, opened a folder, opened YouTube, selected history and then asked his brother to choose the racing video. Its quite amazing to watch (them). You can tell them to open the Cat in the Hat book or go to Peter Rabbit, and they will. Or tell them to play a matching game, and they can do that too. At first I thought it was going to be too abstract, but, they can identify what they see, can talk about it and use the device quite well.

Now of course, I have a billion questions. Just because there’s some good stuff on the iPad, doesn’t mean that it is a baby sitter. It can’t crowd out real world experience or play as those are where kids see many of the things that they absorb and learn. And, it can’t crowd out time with the parents or family. Afterall, where would they otherwise learn the embarrassing stuff that they can later repeat (just joking… I think). So, for now, the iPuk are, as a group, a set of occasional and aspirational devices for my little ones. They see them occasionally, always want them, and will try to steal them from us when they can. But, we will change the topic to the ball or the car in the yard… at least for the moment.

Having an older brother has its benefits. One of which is seeing how to do things.

These things could be mundane things like stacking blocks, learning new words or how to perform certain activities. But, of course, we are talking about kids, so the learning will not reside entirely there.

For instance, there’s climbing. Fortunately, this has stopped (for the most part). However, when it was midstream, our oldest would start scaling the outside of the stairs to a level that was 3 times his height. He eventually learned how to climb back down the way he came up and to slide down the rails, but, this meme spread to our youngest. He learned to climb the outside of stairs at the same point when he was learning how to walk. He would follow his brother up. However, because he didn’t know how to get down, he effectively blocked his brother’s path down. In swoop the parents to help out. Eventually we dissuaded them or they got bored.

Next up was dropping food. David Letterman has, seemingly forever, had a segment where he drops items from the top of his building to see what would happen. For those who have been around the block a few times, its pretty apparent that a mess will ensue. However, for the newly arrived, the mess is not really something that needs to be dealt with. The fun is in watching it fall or potentially break. The other part of this is about having a clean plate or tray. You can either eat it or get rid of it. In fact, you can do both. We got mats that sit underneath their high chairs to make life simpler for the cleaning crew/ parents, and they see their fair share of use. Although, in a twist, our youngest is pretty handy with a broom and dustpan.

Then there was/is the car racing. Here, our little ones take the “B” and the “Rocket” and race around the kitchen and any other place where they can go. Unlike some of the other activities where one inspired the other. In this case, they seem to inspire each other. The eldest was always a big fan of the ride on cars that he has, and loved to ride the “B” or BMW. However, he takes great pleasure in riding with his brother, and will even call for him to get the Rocket so that they can do the younger set’s version of street racing.

Then there’s running around the table, playing with toy cars, building with legos, etc. Of course, every toy that the older brother likes, the younger one wants.

The learning that goes with all these activities is invaluable. After all that’s why we wanted them to be so close in age. They can help each other learn new words, new vocabulary and new activities at a much faster pace than just one could. Although it does mean that they can create a kitchen mess at a far faster pace than just one could do. I suppose that just comes with the territory.

These days I look at my car and wonder how long it will last.

Its not the quality of the car (although it is a bit squeaky these days), but more the utility of the car.

Way back when kids were on the horizon, the first move for my wife and I was to outfit the SUV with car seats. It was a great vehicle – note the past tense – that got me and some house things cross country when we moved back from the east coast a couple years ago. It drove well, but, it wasn’t the best for son and his upcoming brother. So, despite my protests, we moved to a minivan.

For my sake, my wife got the sports model. But, it was still a minivan. The sports part of it meant a few extra letters on the name and a little less roll on the corners. But it still had the sliding doors, the high seating position, the extra storage, the displays for showing kids movies and the capability to take a large family anywhere. We also got Ricarro car seats for the boys because they were on discount… or maybe because they were sporty.

Now, the boys are 2.5 and 1.5 and are about to be joined by a couple siblings. One boy and one sibling to be determined later. This means that the minivan is a great choice and will continue to work well. Except it will need a couple more car seats.

But, it also means that my car is perhaps on its last legs. Its fun to drive but, it really only holds two people. It would be interesting to try car seats in there to justify its existence, but that just doesn’t seem dignified. We’ll see, but, as we prepare to say “hello” to the +2, I think I’ll be saying my goodbyes to my car.

I was excited when our youngest one started walking. He hit 11 months give or take a week and he was off. Walking, falling, tripping and otherwise moving forward.

Some his inspiration was probably watching his family walk around while he had to crawl or be carried. (Who really wants to be the last one to walk?) The other part was probably the need to get away from his brother.

Although, come to think of it, crawling did have its advantages from a parental perspective. It can be a bit slower than walking. Although that was not the case with our youngest. He was/is like lightning. And, of course, being low on the ground decreases your reach and your ability to get in to some things or in our family’s case, everything. But at the point that they were both walking, they running ensued in the house, outside, away from their parents and pretty much everywhere. Running never got old.

Then, they started to realize the power of wheeled vehicles. In their case it was the “B” and the Rocket. The rocket is a 4 wheeled scoot-along rocket with buttons that say things that you might hear on Star Trek. This is the property of the younger son. The older son gets the “B”, short for BMW, that looks a bit like a Z4 but is a scoot-along vehicle just like the rocket.

Aside from the frustrations that occur when the younger brother tries to make off with the older brother’s ride, they generally have a great time riding together. In fact, they have turned the kitchen into a race track. Their dexterity and collision-avoidance capabilities are better than I could have imagined at this age. They don’t hit much, except each other, and that’s typically on purpose. I suppose at some point in the near future, bumper cars will be a singular purpose, but, that is not the case right now.

Car is not always the preferred transport, but, more often than not, the cars will find their way into the dining room or pushed down some stairs into the living room. The older brother now doesn’t like riding alone, often telling his brother to get the rocket so they can ride together. And the cars make their way outdoors on occasion. Then again, they still like to run circles through the kitchen and around the dining room table. Leaving behind a trail of tupperware, food, and anything else that can be reached by someone around 36 inches tall.

Recently, I have been travelling, and its kept me away from my family for long periods at a stretch. Since September I have spent a couple months in Indonesia and India.

My sons realize that I am gone, and go up to the gate in front of my office or the bedroom and call for me. To them, its as though I’ve gone in there for a bit longer than usual, and need to be beckoned to come out.

Because of the time difference (around 12.5 hours from India), I see my sons at the beginning and ends of our days… unless of course I can’t sleep. While these typically tend to be hectic times at home because of breakfast and dinner or a changing, we can typically find a time that works.

First thing I need to do is get my wife’s attention. A phone call is probably the easiest way to reach her, but, international phone rates are crazy high. My cell phone costs me about $2+ a minute per call, so using it is out of the question. In fact, for the cost of 25 roaming minutes, I bought a new cell phone out here with enough minutes to last for my stay…. but I digress. The hotel rates are also expensive. However, I can ping her on Skype chat, call the home phone via Skype, or even send an email. Another free way I have tried is the “Find My iPhone” app. All I do is send a message and an audible alarm, at a reasonable time of day, and she knows I’m there.

Then, everyone needs to be rounded up and put in front of the laptop. Laptops aren’t great when kids are near as evidenced by the broken screen on my wife’s laptop and the broken hinge on mine. There are too many buttons and things to break and can be a bit unwieldy with one hand (the other hand is keeping the children at bay). But, until the iPad has a camera, that’s all we got. The iPad is ideal because its easier to hold, has few moving parts, and is far hard to damage (assuming you don’t drop it from high or stand on it) than a laptop.

My wife and I use Skype for the bulk of the video calling. Its free, and the quality is pretty good. Facetime also works well in that I can use my phone and she can use her computer. In fact, I gave my wife a live Facetime tour of the hotel the other day. Just walked around with my phone and showed her the sights in and around the hotel, including a spell outside — wifi signal is pretty powerful here.

After all this, the sessions start out with a few minutes with the kids and then the rest of the time with my wife. The kids love seeing their Dad on the computer, but they quickly become bored and are off to do something outside of the reach of the camera or microphone. However, when they are there, I can have my eldest tell me a story (typically about how his brother hit him with a spatula), find out what happened in school, hear the latest words, or see a new toy or book. Sometimes there’s some hide and seek involved, but, I’m a bit limited on the seeking part. Short, but definitely worth it. Imagine trying to capture all of this in a letter or postcard, the tools of a previous generation. Videocalling is so cool.

Of course, its only the 24 hour plane trip back that can get me nearer to them. But, until then, video calling is a great, free way to keep in touch and see what I’m missing.

Watching my kids grow up is really really exciting.

When I was married, I never imagined how much fun kids would be. Like most things in life, we see what we want to see at a distance until we experience and really understand. And, so, it is for kids.

Now I am in the middle of the lives of two great kids who are gowing up together. And, I am really excited about all the changes. From crawling, to walking, sounds, to words to sentences. And, I don’t see that changing. Its the most amazing thing. They start out from nothing and are on a determined path to crawl, stand, speak, walk and not eat. Ok, I’m not so excited about that last one, but, I am just amazed about the path that they are taking on their own and what I can do to influence it.

At times I think that my wife and my influences are everything, and other times nothing. I got my eldest excited about the Cars movie to the point where all he says is “Lightning movie”. (Before bed I will ask him to pick out a book to read, and he’ll say “Lightning movie book” hoping that I will play him segment of the movie on my iPhone. He used to always say that he wanted to get “downy”, but I convinced him that “uppy” was a good thing too. While these are clearly important things, he has taken an opposite path these days on certain issues. Things such as eating and most everything else.

This week’s stage can be called “hopping like a rabbit and tormenting his brother”. I can consult the literature to explain, but, the title says it all. He hops because only he can do that, and he pushes his brother to show that he’s still the oldest. (By my reckoning, he’ll be the oldest for some time longer.) My will and I will try to tell him to not push over his brother and make him cry. And, while it does have the intellectual effect of causing him to report that he may not get dessert or to report that his brother fell, it does not get the offending behavior to actually stop. It will clearly take time to bridge cause and effect, logical and emotional in his new brain.

Other things are simpler. Such as the move from holding and looking at objects from all angles to spending good amounts of time arranging them. Or from knocking things over to assembling them. (Until your brother comes over at which point you revert to knocking them over.) Well, maybe it isn’t all that simple, but, watching it is simply wonderful.

I was always excited about having both boys walking. And, now that they are, that has not changed. I love the fact that they can both get around, that they can seek me out, and we can do things that involve less heavy lifting… these little ones are not so little. Although there is a bit of the gremlin amplification going on.

We call our littlest “Ticken”. (Very cute, but only my wife knows the origin.) At 1 year old, he was already a month veteran of the school of walking. Now his mobility varies between highly dexterous to drunken sailor. But, Ticken tends to be the ringleader. And, its hard to take a ringleader named Ticken seriously. But, seeing his handiwork is believing.

He likes to wander around, pick up things to eat, grab legs, copy his brother, and take the heaviest objects out of every drawer and cabinet. Large cooking pans, heavy ceramic bowls, large juice bottles all end up on the floor. Smaller items typically get thrown around. And, this is all the doing of my youngest. My oldest prefers to grab spoons (geeton) or forks (machs) and call it a day. His thing is mainly not eating at this point. But, with Ticken added to the equation, my oldest will copy him. Drawers and cabinets that would ordinarily be ignored become captivating.

But the typical flow of information goes the other way around. My eldest likes to come to the gate by my office and shout “gaggy uppy” which loosely translates to pick me up now and put me in the office (before I have him append “pees” to the phrase). But now, Ticken wants uppy too. Although he doesn’t have the gift of words yet (today its mainly an occasional word and a high amount of recognition shown by a finger point), he does get offended when he cannot get uppy too. Typically this is a fit of words and arms flung here and there. However, if his brother offends him Ticken is likely to come out swinging. So, if I have a break in work, they both come into the office.

Or, my eldest used to like to climb up the outside of the stairs. Even when he learned how to get down safely on his own, it was scary. Now, he’s moved onto other things like not eating. However, that soon shall pass too. However, in the immediate moment, his younger brother likes to climb up a stair or two. Even though he is very strong, the idea of a one year old falling off and hurting himself causes me to leap over to his defense as soon as I see it.

Or, its the knowledge of the Cars movie characters. Not being able to say words makes it hard to show certain things. However, we started noticing that our youngest was pointing out the characters as we asked our eldest about them. And then there’s the building with Legos.

Walking around gives these guys a lot more mobility, and allows them to copy and influence each other (and their parents). Not to mention giving them the ability to perfect their gremlin skills.

My eldest son is on his way to learning to count. He can identify most numbers when he sees them, and can count objects if there are 2 or 3 of them. Sometimes I use this to my advantage, and sometimes not. For instance, when confronted with a bag of gip-crackers (goldfish) in the cinnamon graham cracker variety, he will grab the bag and dig in. While it tastes good, its not always the best thing for him to fill up on crackers and the sugar that comes with them. So, I will hold the bag and ask him how much he wants. The other day, he answered “two” since that was the biggest number he could remember. When those two were gone, I asked him how many he wanted and he said “bag”. Hmm.

Trying to change my youngest son’s diaper is like trying to put pants on a salmon. There’s so much flapping and rolling that it best to try to change it away from all objects. His legs are so strong that he can usually dislodge one or both feet from my grip. And, he has learned to roll himself out of any situation. This means that a diaper that contains more than pee is likely to lead to a world of hurt for all who are involved. I suppose this is one of the reasons why parents keep bringing up these situations in social settings even when their kids are grown.

As a friend recently mused: “I always thought the inside of the stairs was the problem”. There are a bunch of things you can do for statrs including baby gates, pillows and a flat house. But what about the outside of the stairs? My eldest now likes to scale the outside of the stairs like a mountain climber, almost reaching the ceiling in the process. And, scaring the bejesus out of his mother and I in the process. Because he is in the process of “doing the opposite” telling him “no” only accelerates his climb. Telling him to stop at a certain stair seemed like a dare to him. So, what to do? I focused on two contrary things: one is to improve his technique, and the other is to get him to take “no” seriously. Firstly, I have told him to always hold on… and he does. Then, I showed him how to get down… by walking. (He does know a sliding technique that kind of looks like what a miniature fireman would do, but that can’t be done from too high.) Not to encourage him, but, if he doesn’t know how to get down he’s going to do something that won’t make much sense or sit there and get tired and fall. In terms of “no”, I have used a combination of stern looks and commanding voice. He now looks at me for approval before getting up… shaking my head is typically enough to keep him from going up.

Giuppy. Get up. To my eldest who coined this phrase, there’s not much taller in this world than his parents. Or at least it seems that way. And, to him, “giuppy” is an invitation to lift him skyward. Everytime he sees us, there’s a 50% chance he will say this… regardless of the time of day. Even when I’m sitting on the ground, “giuppy” is heard. And “not now” is not an acceptable answer. This leads to a full blown bout of the terrible twos. And, now he’s advocating giuppy on behalf of his little brother. It is very cute, though it has led to some tendon issues in my arm. On the bright side, I no longer have to worry about hand weights.

We are right in the middle of some serious acting up.

The terrible twos have landed on our eldest. He seems to have flipped a switch that causes him to do the opposite of what we want: running away when we call, doing the one thing that we ask him not to, throwing a perfectly good meal on the floor.

The food on the floor part is especially troubling. My wife spends a good amount of time cooking for the little ones so that they eat healthy. So, the stuff that flies off the high chair is not stuff from a jar, its a home cooked meal. And, while cleaning up is not a lot of fun, our biggest concern is changing the behavior so that he understands the right way to behave and so that he gets enough to eat.

One thing we wanted to do early was disconnect the food throwing from the perceived positive result. We didn’t want him to feel like he could get down from the high chair every time he dumped his plate. And we didn’t want him to feel that he could get a cookie or a cracker everytime the food went flying. So we generally left him in the chair until meantime was over. This didn’t really have a dramatic effect other than some acting on his part.

We also did some reading. Some people thought it would be good to ignore the food throwing so that it didn’t serve the purpose of getting attention. This seemed to make a certain amount of sense as he is somewhat competitive with his younger brother. If we praise the little one, our eldest will show that he can do the same thing. So, with both eating most meals at the same time, the competitive streak may come up. However, how easy is it to ignore a neon colored food frisbee? So, we ended up not ignoring, but also not elevating it to attention-getting status. Also, ignoring supposes that dinner time is over when the food has been thrown. While you can’t force your little one to eat, having him go to sleep hungry is not a particularly satisfying result.

We also read that having him clean it up would be helpful. This has been a bit or miss proposition. Sometimes he helps, and other times he seems to have lost his hearing. (This loss of hearing is itself, a large problem in itself.) But, in general, it seemed like a good idea to give him some ownership in the result of his tantrum. It reinforces with a not-so-rational 25 month old that there are consequences.

We also tried to give him the food he liked for dinner. This involved keeping the dinners, breakfasts and lunches healthy but leaning toward the side of the menu that he preferred. It also meant making the snacks healthier so that he could not wait us out and fill up on graham crackers and other similar snacks.

Not to get to cliched, but the jury is still out on how this will playout. Off course the food throwing will stop. But, will our sanity be intact? Will we require a glass of wine at dinner more frequently? Will the food catching nets remain a part of the dinner routine for years to come due to a newfound paranoia? Stay tuned.